Recently I have been re-reading Thomas Leonard’s 28 Principles of Attraction. Thomas devised these 28 principles because, like me, he was unhappy networking. He didn’t like attending meetings with rooms full of strangers and trying persuade them to buy what he was selling. He turned the whole proposition on its head and came up with 28 ways in which you can become irresistibly attractive and compelling so that business comes to you, rather than you having to chase it all the time.
The first of these is: Become Incredibly Selfish. Mr Leonard was re-writing the definition of selfishness here and attests that becoming so will ultimately allow you to be more generous and supportive of others than you have ever been before.
You know you are making progress towards this principle when you are able to put yourself first and attract others who already know how to do this. You notice you need less from other people, you feel more independent and less “pulled” by your roles, you find yourself becoming more generous because you can afford to be and you get a lot more of what you want more often. You embrace the notion of “if it’s good for me, it’s probably going to be good for others”.
TL’s Top 10 Ways to become incredibly selfish are:
- Answer the callings of your heart and mind before those of the tribe
- Know what you want and say so
- Get what you need and build a reserve
- These extra reserves enable you to really care about and be generous with others
- Stop hanging around with those who abhor selfishness
- Unhook yourself from its negative connotations
- Spend the next 7 days doing something very, very selfish each day
- Say no, just because you feel like it
- The real value of this is to give your gifts room to develop
- Take what you feel you need, even if it seems that others won’t get as much
I notice as I write this I am feeling mixed emotions. I am drawn to the outcome because I know I want it, because it makes sense to me and because I admire Thomas Leonard. And I also notice I am feeling a bit icky about some of the ideas in the list as they feel at odds with the nice girl I consider myself to be, sometimes to my detriment. And surely that’s the point? 7, 8 and 10 seem to offer the biggest challenges to me, how about you?
If I were to spend the next 7 days doing something very, very selfish indeed, I am not sure I’d know where to start. That’s almost shameful! And I think this is because it is, as No 6 points out, riddled with negative connotations. Surely there are things I could do which are selfish but which don’t impact on anyone else at all and therefore would be perfectly fine?
I see this very much as becoming the best version of ourselves we can be and I believe in that wholeheartedly and I love to be challenged in that by just this sort of thinking. And I think I could have a lot of fun with No 8, saying no just because I feel like it. Perhaps that’s my hardest challenge of all. I often want to say no, and many times I manage it, but not nearly as often as I would like.
So that’s where I’m going to start, at my growing edge.