Finding Yourself Again

Man studying street mapSometimes my clients report feeling that they have lost their sense of self. They’ve lost themselves. I was going to say that it is mostly women with children, but now that I think about it this happens with both men and women, with and without kids. Sometimes we need to reinvent ourselves because times have moved on. Sometimes it’s just about finding yourself again.

This can happen at any age too. After a failure or even after a success. After life didn’t go the way you thought it would. After something happened to you that wasn’t your fault. After redundancy. Or divorce perhaps. Or after one business failed. Or after you did or didn’t have the baby you wanted, after the menopause (no more babies for you) or after bereavement.

Myriad reasons for losing yourself. How will you find yourself again?

There’s no one formula which suits all here. I think it can be vital to engage in something – anything – which you either know you love or which you think you might. I can think of one close connection who has been saved by a combination of yoga and gardening and building on the sense of self which returned through both of those, she was able to go on and do more of the things which made her come home to herself.

James Altucher recommends a series of daily rituals around getting enough rest and eating right, taking physical exercise, listing ideas and doing something spiritual in a small way. All of these in a small way actually. So a combination of a daily walk and some green juice might do it. Or joining a choir or an exercise group or a slimming group.

The essential you is still inside there. Michelangelo is reported to have said that every block of stone had a sculpture inside and it was the job of the artist to chip away at it until the beauty was revealed. That’s our job too. Chip away at the **** which has accumulated on your inner gem until your diamond brilliance is shining again for all to see. Actually, forget the “all to see” bit, unless that’s important to you? It isn’t important to me, it’s the inner work which is essential.

I know that one day I want to wake up absolutely 100% confident in my worth with all of my esteem coming from inside of me. Until that time there are various things I can do which make me feel good about myself and one of them is my work. So that’s somewhere to start perhaps. What have you always wanted to do? Perhaps now is the time to start creating that.  If you don’t know what that is, when was the last time you were really happy? Let’s explore what satisfactions lay underneath that happiness and set about a new way of you refreshing those feelings.

There are days when I really connect to a client and I know I’ve made a difference to that one. Those are the days when I know that someone’s life was eased because I was there. That’s a good day for me. What’s your equivalent and how can you put yourself in the way of manifesting a string of days like that?

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