I found myself last week awash in the emotions of my clients. You’ve all turned up with the full gamut between you – confusion, frustration, overwhelm, exhaustion, sadness, disappointment, anger, fear and flux. I’ve even been reduced to tears a couple of times myself.
I like this actually. Not you being in emotional extremis, but the opportunity for me to be extra specially helpful. As you’ve heard me say and read me write many a time, business is the easy bit. Learning to handle our emotions is the work of a lifetime. And I realised as I woke up this morning that there are some things I am able to operate in my life now which help me in this task. They add up to my secrets for a happy and peaceful life.
In no particular order of importance, they are:
A preparedness to have difficult conversations, and particularly to be with anyone when they are in tears and/or talking about their emotions. I experience no discomfort whatsoever, I am honoured to be with you while you process this, and happy I have acquired the skills to be able to do it for myself with those in my life who count.
I am happy with who I am. I love and accept myself exactly as I am, something I have learned how to do during the twenty-five year journey of personal development in which I am engaged, and it all started with Louise Hay. I even used to have one of Louise’s cassette tapes (remember those?) which had a song with these words on it which I can still sing to this day: I love and accept myself, exactly as I am. Tra la! Of course, this doesn’t mean the journey is over or that there isn’t plenty more before me to discover, but I’m good for now.
I am clutter-light. I have eradicated all that stands between me and ultimate focus on what I consider to be important in every moment. I have quite a short list of what it takes for me to be happy and safe and content, entertained, amused, and enlightened and the majority of items on that list are available to me most of the time. It is good to have a ticklist of these and to see how relatively low maintenance and simple I am. All my needs are met.
I have an abiding enthusiasm for learning new things and to keep embracing the new.
I love to listen, to notice and to care. I am deeply involved with my fellow human beings of all types, interested in them and anticipating the best from them and mostly they do not disappoint, rather they live up to my expectations of which they are blissfully unaware. I am regularly surprised and delighted. I appreciate the goodness in others. Right now I am in love with human beans. Perhaps I always have been.
Having a GSOH is vital, so I don’t take myself too seriously and can laugh in the face of adversity when required. And, oh boy, has it been required 2010-date! Six or seven of my trickiest years – ever. And yet, here I am, happy and peaceful even during life’s tricksy times.
Being in charge of my own destiny and being able to be self-directed and make choices about what’s important to me and where I put my focus and what I do for a living and how I do it is total freedom and total luxury.
Similarly being able to do what I love – client work, reading, writing, thinking and ignoring the rest when I choose is bliss.
Space for all of this, noticing with each month that passes that I am less and less drawn into the dramas of life and more and more drawn to happiness and peace, well it is just gorgeous. I am so grateful for the space to be and to think and to be available to others and to fun. For the first time in my life there might even be room for spontaneity which has historically never been either my middle name or my MO. Imagine!
Again, if I were ranking this list, which I am not, one of those right up there would be rapport, the ease with which I am able to connect with other people, to meet them where they are, this is a gift, a gift, a gift. Whoever sent that gift to me or bestowed it upon me or whatever DNA pathway makes it possible in my daily life, thank you from the bottom of my pencil case. I love you.
Perhaps in a birthday week I am more appreciative and mushy than normal. Is it that, I wonder?
This is a very personal list, I know. And perhaps it is also a very 2017 list. Will I look back on today’s list today from the vantage point of future birthdays and edit? Will my next list be shorter, longer or completely different?
Do write and let me know your secrets for creating the life (and biz) of your desires.