I think of myself as a person in service to others. All of my businesses have offered to do work with you and for you that you cannot or won’t do yourself (accounting, cleaning) or don’t know how to do yourself yet (business mentoring and personal coaching). My family “joke” that I help people for money and that is part of the story for sure, though it falls far short of the whole truth.
I’m cool with service. I say to my clients “How may I serve?” or “How can I best help you today?” and I show up with the intention of being of service.
I anticipated that my life might, perhaps, at some point, involve a modicum of sacrifice. Maybe when it came to my own parents dying I might have be required to put my life on hold for a while if needed. It never happened as my parents took just two and seven days respectively to die. No JM care required, which was perhaps a blessing for them as I’m not much of a nurse TBH. I guess they knew that, since they trained that into me.
And as a fairly unrepentant singleton, my relationships (such as they have been) have never involved sacrifice or not for very long before I was outta there. There was one where I got stuck in misery for about four years but in the end I found my escape route.
But I know many people who live in sacrifice by accident; its just crept up on them. And I’m not so cool with that, certainly not in the medium or long term.
If you are a man or woman who has parents who are getting older and needing more from you, you have my sympathy. That is a phase most go through, a stage of life, and I hope you can find a way to navigate through those years and still be able to enjoy your own life and get some respite and plenty of support.
If you are a partner in a loving relationship where you have taken it in turns to support one another through illness, redundancy, re-training and so on, then that’s also a lovely yin and yang thing (provided it’s not all one way). It is part of the deal you may have signed up to as well; in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer. You know the one.
I can see both of those scenarios in the light of giving, with love and in love, and you might not even see either as sacrifice. They might not even be or involve any personal sacrifice on anyone’s part.
But once you get stuck in service indefinitely in a way where you have no choices and your life is permanently on hold and it isn’t fair and there are no visible exits and its all one way, then that’s sacrifice.
And if you are my client I will be helping you to find your way out of that web of stuckness, or to find a way to be at peace with it. For now.