30 Things I’m Not Very Good At (It Could Have Been A Longer List!)

Woman with Shopping BagsInspired by Lotte Lane’s post 25 Things I Suck At, I’ve decided to compile my own list. Wanna join in?

  1. Shopping. I have no use for shops, I’m no good at shopping and no interest in improving that art. I get everything sent round by Ocado or Amazon. Lots of my items on this list denote that I am not “a proper woman”, as you will see. Going to the Sales? Anaethema.
  2. Sport. Ah, not that you need to be good at sport to be a proper woman, or even a proper person, but I don’t play it, I don’t watch it and I can’t answer questions on it in Trivial Pursuit. If we are on the same quiz team, you can play your joker on this round if you like, but don’t rely on me.
  3. Socialising. No, not everything on my list begins with an S but this one means I don’t do parties, cocktail parties or meaningless chit chat with strangers in a formal setting, though I love chatting up people in public places, randomly.
  4. First Impressions. I’m crap at evaluating people first off and seem completely incapable of developing that skill. Not interested in giving a good first impression either, see 3.
  5. Chores. Can’t do cleaning, gardening, washing the car or DIY. Love paying for all those to be done for me. It’s what makes the commercial world go round.
  6. Visuals. I’m not really interested in how things look, so don’t ask my opinion of your logo, and consequently…
  7. Art. Don’t like pictures or art galleries but, as they say, I know what I like. LOVE architecture though, so prefer to sit outside the gallery and admire it while you are inside. Take as long as you like, I’m happy here.
  8. Photography. See 6 and 7 although I am a tiny bit better at this one. I own a camera. Sometimes I even attempt to use it. Problem is middle-aged vision, cannot focus with or without glasses so it’s a flook if a usable image is the end result. Not much interest in improving this skill though I don’t rule it out.
  9. Drinking. Don’t do it, don’t like it, don’t find it amusing, not impressed by drunkenness or jokes about drinking. In fact I have a serious sense of humour failure when it comes to booze and all its implications. I do have a good reason for this but I suggest you don’t call me on it unless we are about to become best buddies and you have a problem with my sobriety. If pressed, I do like a glass of Prosecco but I never drink so much I cannot drive home.
  10. Bargain hunting, see 1. Not remotely interested in a bargain, I know this is a serious failing. Couldn’t haggle if my life depended on it and I do not anticipate that though, again, you cannot rule it out these days, look at Captain Phillips. Several people in the last week alone have attempted to engage me in the concept of Costco. Had to cut them off at the knees, conversationally speaking. “Can I stop you right there?”
  11. Physical bravery – anything where I might risk bodily injury e.g. skiing, plank breaking or pointing an arrow at my throat during personal development workshops. I am a very brave person in all other regards and I’m not interested in either the metaphor or frightening the knickers off myself.
  12. Acting. What you see is what you get; can’t fake it. Love actors and watching them though. Great art.
  13. Formal networking. Very good at informal sorts but would prefer to poke sticks in eyes than get up at the crack of dawn (or any other time of the day, come to that) and go and meet people at gatherings, with rules.
  14. Rules.
  15. Spontaneity. Prefer a nice plan. I like to know where I am.
  16. Being late. Congenitally incapable. It’s in the genes, as is a great sense of direction. The two are usefully linked.
  17. Getting lost. Ghastly. Occasionally it all goes tits up, but not if I am in charge, Love.
  18. Negativity and pessimism. Cannot abide it. Surely enough said?
  19. Selflessness. Ah, I do have some regrets about this one. But after decades of living alone and loving it, it becomes inevitable that we singletons become the centre of our own universe. Shame, but it has its upsides.
  20. Children. Never wanted any of my own. I’m not all that keen on yours either. I am thrilled for you but I cannot fake interest beyond you keeping them alive. I can teach you how to run a business whilst having some though as I’ve worked with enough Mums and Dads over the decades to know how to do that.
  21. Birthdays. I quite like one with a zero on the end but I cannot really be bothered with the rest of them and I’m not much fussed whether you remember mine or not. I only buy seven cards a year, five for my family, one for my best friend and one for another friend who does care about birthdays and I buy those seven cards online once a year and hold them in stock until the dates. Deeply practical and efficient. Note: doesn’t involve the S word.
  22. Similarly Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Fireworks Night and anything else which has a monotonous regularity and just keeps on coming around. Yawn. And don’t start me on New Year’s Eve, worst night of the entire year.
  23. Scrabble. Love words and word games. Except this one. I don’t have the patience for you to take twenty minutes for your go and have fallen out with a very dear friend over the bloody game. Lesson learned.
  24. Makeup, hair, fashion, women’s magazines and celebrity gossip anything to do with being “a proper girl”. I cannot fake an interest in anyone called Kardashian. You might as well add the tabloid press in here.
  25. Hoarding and clutter. See also Shopping, bit of a recurring theme now. Soz.
  26. Indecision, wasting energy and thinking about things which might or might not happen, general fannying about and time wasting. CAN WE GET ON!
  27. Flakiness. If you want something or someone reliable, look no further.
  28. Illness. Don’t do it and am very impatient and unsympathetic to it in others, especially hypochondria and attention-seeking, unreliability, calling in sick and letting me down. Don’t start me, just get here. On time.
  29. Saving money. I do (a) earning (b) wealth creation (c) investing but saving is my downfall. Too dull. Might fix that as I get older.
  30. Public Transport. If I cannot go in comfort and style, I don’t want to go at all. Business class or above in ‘planes and I prefer to drive for 100% of every other journey.

I could have made this a much longer list. I’ve spared you and I apologise that in parts it reads like an angry rant, that wasn’t my intention.

When I first read Lotte’s own list I thought it would be a great game to join in with and then I found I couldn’t think of any immediately, but this morning I woke up with this massive list. I love how sleep and my unconscious creativity often does all the work for me. I trust it so much now that I often sleep on ideas I am incubating and wake up with miracles in mind.

 

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4 Responses to “30 Things I’m Not Very Good At (It Could Have Been A Longer List!)”

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  1. Judith Morgan says:

    Thanks, Allison. That’ll explain why we love and respect one another and get along so well then. So much in common creates rapport. And a lot of it is instinctive, i.e. something about you just resonates with me and vice versa.
    Thanks for the blogging encouragement.
    x

  2. Allison Galbraith says:

    Brilliant Judith. I hadn’t realized we had so much in common! Especially the one about first impressions. To the point where, when I had a job, I would never do interviews on my own, always had someone else in with me.
    Loving your daily blogs.

    Allison

  3. Judith Morgan says:

    Oh, Frank. I think I talk about what I love all the time. And even in the above list, its obvious what I love.

  4. Frank Jurga says:

    Why not remind us about what you love – I’m looking for woodwork, candle making, searching for and listening to music that I’ve missed over the last 40 years, films, comedy and driving to be on that list – actually, I already know that driving will be on that list.

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