I’m working with at least one business owner who has had enough of the struggle.
His very first question to me in 2017 was “Is business always this hard?” I remind him of that whenever we stray off the point; he wants it easier.
He’s very successful and from the outside his life looks enviable. On the inside there’s currently quite a lot of discomfort as he feels his way to a better place, inventing what that is as he goes and casting off the old.
He told me a fascinating story which reminded us about our shared values, about how we were both brought up to believe that success comes after lots of hard work and that anything else is naive.
He told me that he had taken a day out to go into the country and visit some friends. He’d been concerned about them. They didn’t appear to share his work ethic and he was worried about how they were going to pay their bills. His assumption was that they lived in the land of trust, and he’s a bit of a stranger there himself.
But the day went very differently to how he expected. He found them living an idyllic country existence of chickens and coops, and jam-making, and lovely little places to sit in their garden and during his visit a delicious cheesecake was being made, as if they had all the time in the world to relax and enjoy each day.
The picture he painted was of lushness and relaxation and ease. It felt like an alternative reality to us both. Contrary to his fears of lack for them, they were full up in their bookings despite not appearing to be doing anything to manifest them. They were just going about their lovely life, content that was enough, confident it would draw clients to them sufficient to live abundantly. And so it appeared to be.
Next we debated the scenario of an alternative reality that plenty of my clients live, one of ease and abundance, one of an absence of addiction to the struggle. And how, when I encourage them to do this, and get that back into this place should they happen to fall out, their results improve.
Shocking! We were both laughing by now, but reluctantly, still clinging to our beliefs despite those beliefs having become shackles some time ago.
Could those of us who’d been brought up with twentieth century values about all good results coming from hard work and graft and a strong work ethic, all of which I admire and certainly operated myself until the late Nineties, and still fall back on if circumstances require, could we learn another way? Could we relax and do just as well for ourselves, if not better, especially if taken in the round?
I definitely believe we can.
Struggle doesn’t seem to help. In fact, it seems to make things worse. Struggle sets up a negative slide where, as I discussed with another client this week, all your dominoes fall over in a row, one after the other, triggered often by your fears of lack. In this scenario you know you are the mistress of your own downfall. And if you can make bad things happen so easily, you can certainly do the opposite. They are both manifestations, we just assume one is easier than the other, because such is our past experience. Neg. We seem better at neg. We think we are better at neg and we can provide plenty of evidence to support our theory.
Conversations like this turn philosophical as they are about thinking and deliberately choosing how we want our lives to be as they change over the years, and whether manifesting with ease is something we can believe in enough to take to the bank. Could we make ease and abundance our new reality?
My clients who are naturals at this prove to me that we can, over and over. The couple in my client’s story prove that we can.
I found myself deeply affected by this story and these recent discussions because I believed my client when he’d sold me his fears about his friends. Since then I have been trying to persuade people all week that they might experiment with less fuss and bother, and instead choose more love and lightness and fun. After all, what’s life about?
I then told Nicola on the podcast that I might make this My Life’s Work. I believe it really strongly, that we put ourselves through the wringer often unnecessarily and all we get for that is an awful lot of bad feelings and negative outcomes. More shit, basically! Shit begets shit.
Or you simply tire of doing it that old way, as I did. It was so exhausting I couldn’t keep doing it. That’s where my client’s at now. He doesn’t want to keep doing it that way either.
What if the reverse is really true? If all these other people are living it, why can’t we simply decide to move onto their lot?
Certainly my own experience in the last couple of weeks is that the more lovely my life becomes, the lovelier my work becomes and vice versa. The more I love you and it, the more opportunities I get to do it and love it and earn money from it. Virtuous circle alert!
It is difficult to work out or remember when I slipped into this alternative reality. And I’ve no idea yet how to stay here more often than not, without clinging on in desperation which is entirely the wrong energy. But I imagine that the more I deliberately choose to check into this particular alternative reality, the more comfy I’m going to feel here and the more likely I am to stay. Gosh, I hope so!
- What’s jammy and cheesecakey and idyllic about your pastures green?
- What’s your current reality, and your preferred alternative reality?
- Do you believe you could learn to trust in a life of ease and abundance?
I do hope you’ll write and tell me. You know how much I LOVE that!
And if you can use some of what this country-living couple are on, I do hope you’ll allow me to help.