Today I was up before TUT, the daily message from the Universe which arrives every day at just after 8.15. During my gap year, I haven’t been up in the dark for a while, perhaps at all. So it was a delightful surprise to see the moon, my favourite thing of all time, hanging in the sky above beautiful downtown Streatham Hill, almost full it was too.
So what am I doing up so early today?
Waiting for Russell the handyman to fix my curtain pole which has been hanging off the living room wall and to fix the dripping kitchen tap. He arrived exactly on time which always makes things peaceful for me. And fixing my environment and busting tolerations also adds to the sum of my peace.
The hour before he arrived was delicious, quiet and spiritual and moony.
My Mum used to use the expression “anything for a peaceful life” when we asked her for things, things she probably didn’t want to give but did so for a bit of peace. She has my sympathies now all I want is peace.
I am beginning to reflect what I am going to do after my gap year is over and although I have no idea yet what 2012 will hold, whatever I do end up doing, it will need to be peaceful.
The opposite of peace for me is noise and noise isn’t only sound. It’s a bit like interference of any description, anything which is a barrier to my peace. Duty, demands, responsibilities, requests, obligations, commitments, information, emails, telephone calls, newspapers, television news, parties, meetings, talking, shouting, arguing, conflict, thoughlessness, muzak, speed, hastiness, background noise, music in the car without thinking whether or not I want the music playing, traffic jams, adverts, clutter, doing anything because anyone else wants me to do it without thinking whether or not I want to do it myself. That last one was the sense in which my Mother used the expression.
So in the gap weeks remaining to me I shall be thinking very closely about the way in which I want my life to be in future. And I am very happy I have the space to contemplate that, to choose my life deliberately now. And I choose peace.
And from what I have been reading during my gap year, nothing’s going to be the same in our futures anyway. Anything I have learned in the first half of my life will not necessarily inform the second half. But that’s another (financial) story for another day.
“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.” – Abraham Maslow.
That’s another sense in which I shall strive to be at peace with myself, by writing.
P.S. Russell’s underneath the kitchen sink, but when he finishes the tap will have stopped drip, drip, dripping and peace will be restored. Cue sigh of contentment.