How to Ask for What You Want

Ask and You Shall ReceiveOne of my clients is very diligent. By which I mean she goes off and does the things I recommend when she asks me for a solution to problems she’s encountering in growing her business. Whilst diligence in a client is very nice, it isn’t a requirement of mine. I’ m just as happy if a conversation we have triggers a choice of your own. I’m not wedded to you doing it my way. Honest.

But I want to share a story today of my diligent client and I have her permission.

She’s training to be a coach. When we first met she’d made an excellent start in that she already had paying clients. That’s not as easy as it sounds because coaching is regarded by many as a luxury, not an essential. But, of late, due to her personal circumstances involving travelling around the world with her partner and being of no fixed abode and taking up residence in parts of the world where a coach might be even harder to afford than, say, London… well, my client’s income has dried up a tad, despite her coaching skills improving dramatically. This woman gives great value. And she’s just the sort of inspiring walk-your-talk coach you’d want, especially if your goals were similar to her own life achievements, namely having a wonderful and colourful international life.

So she asked me what was my advice to get back to receiving payment for her services with ease and I recommended that she get some practice at asking for things. Asking for things she wanted and things she didn’t. Just asking. My plan was that she would get comfortable with asking for things – anything – so that asking for money for her services would become second nature. This doesn’t just apply to coaching services, I’m sure you can see that, Gentle Reader?

I suggested in my newsletter about selling that readers did the same thing. It was on my mind last week. I suggested that we might ask for a banana or a bank note, but my client took it a whole lot further.

First I knew she was implementing my advice was that she put this lovely thought on Facebook.

To my dear coach Judith Morgan: it has been an amazing magical week. By doing what you suggested, it’s opened the magic of abundance again. Thank you!

Then, as is typical – and diligent, she followed this up with the full skinny in an email which, as I say, I have her permission to share. NB: English is not my client’s first language. Doesn’t that just make this story even better somehow? She can coach in at least three languages. Wowser!

Dear Judith

Here is my email reporting the experiment of asking.

Last week I asked for a few things, material things; to my brother a special tool to do delicate craft stuff and to my sister-in-law some new cloth (which she sells) and both of them said YES, right away. But then I thought… who else could I ask something a little bit more risky?

I decided to ask my sister to invite me for lunch to her place, and to say thank you for a gift I gave her almost 15 years ago and for which she has never really thanked me.  The gift was “an apartment”!

The funny thing is that when I asked she started to give me many excuses why she did not feel comfortable inviting me to her place. I said to her that I wanted her to invite me and thank me because I felt I “deserved” it! That changed the whole perspective for me because it was as if ALL these years I have been hiding my sense of worthiness.  I felt worth the invitation, worth the thank you. I felt worthiness.

Then I asked my two nieces, who came to us for their holidays in 2013 and stopped talking to me when they got back home, to come and visit and tell me why they stopped talking to us and what went so wrong that they felt the need to respond like this.  That is the long story into a short one. So they came, they spoke, they told “their” truth, and things went into getting clearer and clearer, proving that the “silence”  was the result of many misunderstanding and cultural clashes.  We were all happy to be in that space of truth, and it was a healing experience.

Thanks to this exercise I have been answering very straight forwardly about my cost for coaching.  On the weekend we were invited to a birthday and everyone was fascinated about what I do, and they all asked me publicly how much my services were. I told them loud and proud. My Powerful Conversations are 220 euros and a program of coaching with me is between 1200 and 5000 euros.  All of a sudden, saying the figures is feeling easier and even too low; my next stage will come soon.

So this is why I needed to thank you publicly for such an excellent approach to the work we are doing. I couldn’t wait to write to you with all this good news!

Looking forward to our next conversation.

So am I.

What a wonderful woman my client is.

What wonderful work this is which I am so privileged to do.

Your Biz Your Way

If you have enjoyed reading my words here, you might also enjoy my book - Your Biz Your Way: Learning to Trust Yourself. Relax! You've Got This. Find out how to buy the book here Read My Book