Q42: Why Do I Feel Inferior to Better Qualified Artists?

I think this is a variant on what some of my more academic coaching colleagues might call Imposter Syndrome which almost everyone feels, by the way, especially women or so they tell me. If you don’t know what IS is, please don’t get distracted now and go rushing off to look it up, remember we don’t need more information and you are already good enough, but…try on these few thoughts for size and see if they shift something for you. My brother and I didn’t go to University. It wasn’t thought important in our family. Not our parents’ fault really, […]

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Q41: Is There Something Wrong with Me?

“There must be something wrong with me/my business model/what I’m doing because I haven’t been able to make my business work. I feel embarrassed that I’ve not been able to make this work yet.” I read something very interesting last night in what is fast becoming a fave book by Pam Grout called Thank & Grow Rich. It was about the voice we use to talk to ourselves, and the nasty messages we tell ourselves too. Pam describes “the maniac in our own heads”. She says a non-stop voice loop reminds her of all that’s lacking in her life and […]

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Q40: Why Do I Keep Self-Sabotaging and Slowing Down My Own Progress?

“What do you do when you have a major #1 project which is very important to you, paramount even, but LIFE STUFF keeps on getting in the way?” This is something I see my clients do. And, for sure, we all have varied and interesting and busy, even full, lives. And what I try to get them to do, not always successfully, is to see two things. How to prioritise and say no to stuff that gets in the way See that what they let in must be at least as important as their #1 project, if not more so, […]

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Q39: What’s the Best Way to Avoid Compromising My Freedom?

Earlier this summer, my client was negotiating a Big Contract. This was going to be quite a commitment for her and involve her in working with a few sub-contractors too, but it was what we’d been talking about and the sort of income she had been desiring and taking steps towards and following up leads and going to meetings in order that she would manifest precisely that; a big chunk of work and cash. Her intentions became her reality. And next, her immediate fear was that the new juicy Big Contract would limit her freedom, that most precious of precious […]

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Q38: When Is Enough Enough?

Oh! I so agree with you. I know you and I both know when enough is enough. And we are both quite or very close to that place where we appreciate that we are enough, we have enough, and we know enough. Gentle Reader, my questioner is a consultant but she also does another couple of funky and interesting things on the side. She’s not my only consultant client and there’s often a somewhat tricky quandary that goes with being a consultant which my freelancer readers will also recognise. When we have a contract we are grateful to have it […]

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Q37: Why Do I Feel Bad That My Work Isn’t Hard?

“Why do I feel bad that my work isn’t either hard enough or sufficiently worthy or intellectual?” Self-employment feels too easy to my client; it’s all dropping into her lap. Hard work was hardwired into me at birth. And it is worthy, it really is. I ran my life and my accounting business according to the principles of hard work once upon a time* and guess what? It only works! But it isn’t The Way. It’s just one of the ways. When I am tired and not thinking straight and I want to get something done, I fall back on […]

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Q36: Why Do I Always Put My Own Self-Care Last?

Without you, your business is nothing. So your top priority always is looking after you because you are both your business’s finest asset and its worst liability. When anything threatens your health and well-being, you cannot work and your income dries up or your business comes under threat in other ways. This is called self-care, and because we are so poor at prioritising it we need to think of it as Extreme or Radical. We need always to focus on it first and foremost and what we tend to do is leave it to last. If there are a few […]

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Q35: How Can I Work Better with My Husband?

“What are your best tips for better working with my business partner who is also my husband, especially when we don’t see eye to eye?” My client co-owns a business with her husband in which they both work. She feels the division of labour is unfair and resentment builds up and then explodes. Her partner doesn’t like his list of jobs increasing. He doesn’t really see the problem and is reluctant to talk about it. She feels misunderstood especially in the amount of her own workload and commitment to the business. The burden falls on her for dealing with people, […]

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Q34: Is It OK to Talk Openly About My Spirituality?

“People will think I’m a whack job!” For the longest time, I was a bit too circumspect about this, fearing the whack job diagnosis myself. And I know some of my friends and family and colleagues and clients do not agree with a lot of my own spiritual and esoteric beliefs. If anything, that just serves to strengthen them. I know what’s true for me. Also, my beliefs are visceral or as my friend, Susie-From-Manchester would say “I just knowed it, Miss.” Other people spouting on about theirs, where we are not in agreement, just makes mine strengthen. It’s like […]

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Q33: Why Is There No Money in My Ideas Yet?

One of the few types of client I have found it most difficult to help to employ themselves for money is the one who’s in love with ideas. She’s a Scanner, so she tells me. Oh God, I think. Another one. Yes, I’ve read that book too and it is wonderful, but it gives us permission to be scattered. No, it gives us permission to glory in being scattered. Newsflash! At our level, there’s no money in ideas. And that may not matter to you because I too know very well that a stonking idea is, on occasion, better than […]

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