My not-so-secret guilty pleasure is Danny Dyer. Him off EastEnders. Not that I would know that as I haven’t watched it for twenty years.
And my guilty pleasure is not so secret either since I tell you all over Facebook whenever I get the chance.
My favourite DD moments are:
- Him calling lexicographer Susie Dent “a raving sort”. Would that he would call me that.
- Him discovering on Who Do You Think You Are that he was related to the British Royal Family all the way back to Edward III in the 1300s (and I’ll forgive him his truly awful trousers that day). Best WDYTYA. Ever.
- Him saying on the current C4 prog about slack parenting that he doesn’t want to talk to the other parents at the school gates, he just wants “to get her in the motor double lively”
The moment I heard that expression – double lively – I knew I was going to adopt it as my own, along with raving sort.
Because all my clients want their results double lively. Me too.
Whenever I think ahead to anything I am going to say to anyone, this newsletter, a blog post, a podcast, an interview, I catch myself about to preface everything I say or think or write with the words “these days”. I edit myself because I don’t want to come across as some sort of Old Fogey who thinks those days or (worse) the Olden Days were better when in so many ways they were not.
But they were different in many crucial regards, and one of those ways I had planned to talk to you about today, even without Danny’s encouragement.
The sense in which my clients want their results double lively is that “these days” we want and expect everything to happen overnight.
I’ve been taking my daily turmeric tablet for about six or seven months now and so I thought the time had come to invest in the skincare range. Without a word of a lie, I put it on my face for the first time last night and then looked excitedly in the mirror, more than half expecting to see myself look instantly younger. I know this is going to take months, perhaps even longer than that, but I was impatient to see the wrinkles, bags and lines which I have taken sixty years to accumulate instantly evaporate before my very eyes, even though I knew they wouldn’t. What are we like?
It’s the same in business. My clients in their third year of working with me are getting better and more solid results than those in their first year. In fact one of my first years recently asked how to get the results she can see a third year getting, and the answer really lies in digging in, experimenting, adapting what the other client is doing to suit your own business, becoming more confident of your skills and services and about putting up your prices, and all of these come with maturity. You can’t get them double lively. Although I introduce you to the concepts immediately, it takes ages for them to bed in and for you to embrace them and “get them” enough to implement them solidly and for long enough. And, frankly, you waste a lot of time resisting them too. What can I say? Sorry, but you do. That’s life. I don’t take advice and instantly adopt it either. I’m cautious. And I test it out and adapt it to fit me, me, me.
Eventually I receive emails and FB messages from clients and former clients which begin “I know you’ve been telling me this for ages…”. Certainly one of my goals after 40 years in business is to help you so that it doesn’t need to take you 40 years to learn what I have. But it can’t happen overnight either, apparently. It can’t happen double lively, however much we want it.
This week I received an email like that from a fabulous woman I worked with twelve years ago, sharing results based on what we discussed way back then. Unbeknownst to me she had been silently keeping on. And I had another email correspondence with a chap I first met in 2003, along the same lines. They’ve both been experimenting and implementing and, despite life’s often quite worrying setbacks, they’ve mostly continued to carry on in a forwards direction.
Because here’s the thing, and I nearly called today’s piece this: the time passes anyway.
Whatever we are doing where we want results, we want them double lively. My new skincare routine. My low carb eating plan for the rest of my life. Your business. So if you give up because the results aren’t coming in the Dyer timeframe, then all is lost.
But the time is going to pass anyway.
So I could stay wrinkly and heavier than I’d like to be because neither of my routes to results is fast, or I could keep on keeping on anyway. You could stay stuck as a beginner ‘cos you gave up too soon or because you thought your financial need for results was too urgent, or you could keep on keeping on. The time is going to pass anyway, so you might as well.
And if we keep on doing these little things day by day while the time is passing anyway, guess what? It adds up, it makes a difference and we get to where we want to be. It isn’t double lively. I wish it were.
Consequently I think I can predict with some confidence that if I keep up my new twice-daily skincare regime, I am going to metmorphose into a raving sort.