Many of us worry about what other people will think about us. I even had a little bout of this myself last week, unfounded as it transpired. But you never know, do you? So we worry.
Some of my friends and clients even think they know what other people will say or do or think when we behave in a certain way, or we say no, or ask for our needs to be met. Or ask for help.
My mind was blown a little last week when my SBBM client, Kevin, shared this with me from Brendan Burchard’s High Performance Habits:
…people drastically underestimate the willingness of others to engage and help. Several replicated studies show that people tend to [say] yes over three times as often as people thought they would. Studies also show people overestimate how often and to what degree others will judge them. If someone does say yes to helping you, they tend to like you more after they’ve done something for you
Whoa! Hold on. What did we just learn there?
- People drastically underestimate the willingness of others to engage and help
- People tend to say yes over three times as often as others thought they would
- We overestimate how often and how much others will judge us.
- IF SOMEONE DOES SAY YES TO HELPING YOU, THEY TEND TO LIKE YOU MORE AFTER THEY’VE DONE SOMETHING FOR YOU!
That last one rocked my world. Not that I am mad keen for people to like me more, but given that they will or they might, I’m awfully tempted just to ask for more help anyway, aren’t you? Wow! What an interesting experiment that would be. You in?
In my book Your Biz Your Way, several questions would have been illumined by reference to this, including #2 Why Do I Feel I Must Do It All by Myself? Thinking about this for just a moment it seems immediately obvious that I might challenge myself to ask for help at least once a day until it becomes habit-forming. Apart from anything else, it will just make life easier.
You don’t even need to be in extremis, which is when I might normally be tempted to ask, you just need to ask for help with normal everyday stuff, whether you need it or not. People are willing. They want to say yes. They don’t judge us. They like us more. Oh for goodness’ sake, it’s even beginning to sound like fun!
Sorry to keep repeating myself, but I LOVE THIS. Did I say?