Podcast Ep 98: Digital Addiction Makes You Unhappy

iphone-410311_640In today’s episode of the podcast, episode 98, Nicola and I debate our digital addiction.  Not just ours, but that shared by almost all smartphone users where it is well documented that people check their phones 83 times a day, about twice as much as they estimate they do.

You know you’ve got a problem when the bright white light keeps you awake in the night because you find it difficult to detach at bedtime. I know that if I make the mistake of checking mine in the middle of the night, I will NEVER get back to sleep!

Apparently all the dopamine hits we get from being popular online and feeling connected is a false sense of feelgood, though perhaps it does go some way towards explaining the addiction. I am increasingly drawn to digital sabbaths, being disconnected and frequently catch myself saying that if I didn’t have a business, I wouldn’t be online. Though we appreciate the opportunity to use such things as Skype and Face Time to keep in touch with loved ones so easily, especially when travelling, and for free.

Efficiency is my middle name and having everything delivered helps me to keep doing what I do best, working to help my clients and marketing online to find more of them. But this means I never have to leave the house, and that gets harder and harder. What’s this digital addiction doing to my (and your) mental wellbeing, our real-world friendships and family relationships and to our lives?

Nicola and I are about to go travelling, she and her sister to Stoupa in Greece and me to France and the French Caribbean. We are both firmly convinced that this will open up our lives and that we will find ourselves in relationship with more than just our laptops. But just how close to the truth will that prove to be? We are about to discover the reality. I suspect it will make very little difference at all; let’s hope I am wrong. We travel in positive expectation but I am all too aware we take ourselves with us and this digital addiction is now very deeply ingrained.

No addiction is a good thing and when it comes to our gadgets, we are self-confessed junkies.

In other news this week, I am back on the kale juice and inadvertently wearing it on my t-shirt during a visit to the post office. I went on a little trip to see Bridget Jones and her baby, Nicola’s watching more of Simon Sinek which set her thinking along these lines of how digital affects us adversely.

Our words of the week are Presume (don’t) and Connection, a bit of a theme going on there.

I’m fascinated by how quickly (or luxuriously slowly) I achieve rapport with clients. One relatively new client says her husband has noticed how jazzed she gets before, during and after her calls with me. She’s had a coach since 1999 but never experienced this before our partnership. And another client who’s been partnering with me for two years describes me as “so much of my support system”. I observe that the deeper our trust and respect, the longer, broader and deeper our connection, the better results she achieves. Fast and slow. Different strokes.

Nicola’s sister, Sarah, is selling all their stuff in preparation for their Greek odyssey and today’s success is selling a £10 family game on eBay for £61! Nicola’s son Nelson has produced a “choon” featuring his 60 year-old Dad on lead vocals. It’s a family affair.

And as at our recording date of 21st September I’ve reached day 265 of my daily sharing of a tune on Facebook which makes me realise that there are just 100 days of 2016 left, or possibly 101 if 2016 was a leap year which I have a feeling it was.

I am struck by the fact that Friday sees my last ever London Cashflow game and that I have a client attending it from Colorado in the USA which is I think the farthest anyone has yet travelled to sit at the table and learn. Of course, that’s not her only reason for a visit to London, but it is an honour nevertheless and exciting to meet her at last after two and a half years of working together virtually, the very antidote to the digital problems discussed above. We come together in a health full circle.


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