The full question #14 from my book Your Biz Your Way is “How Can I Step Up to a Bigger Game Without Feeling Exposed?
What if exposure isn’t what it takes, just visibility?
My client who offered this conundrum is on the cusp of playing bigger. She is a woman who has more than enough capacity for that. She has capacity in bucketfuls. Her capacity is full to overflowing. We all have this. We all have the capacity to be extraordinary if we choose.
Her anxiety is around feeling exposed.
This is just a re-frame opportunity. You need never do anything you don’t want to do. OK, you might choose to do some things that stretch you a bit, outside the old CZ (comfort zone, hate that jargon but it had to be said here). But you need never do anything that feels exposing.
If you are called to play a bigger game, and she is, then she may need to blow her own trumpet some more or find ways to get the brass section to make a big noise on her behalf. And people will see her. But she is already quite highly visible in a couple of areas of her life. She writes about one of her passions as a Proper Writer and she’s published for that and shares it all on social media and if she feels any compunction about that she’s never shared it with me.
She also has a day job where she’s effortlessly competent and in high demand for her particular skills which pay the bills (and then some) and provides a lot of interest, satisfaction and global adventures. She’s visible there too, otherwise she wouldn’t get offered those contracts.
But there is a third area of her life and work where the stepping up comes in. She isn’t as visible there yet as she is in the other two, but the very fact that she is comfortable with her visibility in the other two areas means she knows how this feels in her areas of competence, she doesn’t yet know how it feels around her passion where perhaps, for now, she feels more vulnerable. Maybe this one is The Big One, the one that really counts?
I know by the way my client told me this story that she secretly wants to do this because she is quite Starry*.
I remember saying on my 60th birthday a couple of years ago that I thought I would do more public speaking. I didn’t really want to do it, I just thought I should, could, might. I haven’t yet but I don’t rule it out. It doesn’t feel like exposing myself because I’ve done enough to know it will be OK, and anyway my speaking is never about me, it’s about you and I love that. But this does feel the same to me. Like the whole next level of visibility and I am always in two minds about that.
We all have a marker in the sand where on one side it’s safe and comforting and on the other side it’s a bit scary for now, but we know (secretly) we want to go there.
Go there. And always remember your personal power. Be prepared for the stretch but there’s never any need to show anything you don’t want to be seen. You keep that power even when standing on bigger and bigger stages. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do, that’s non-negotiable. It is safe for you to do this. And you will love it. And I already know you’ll be great. And so do you.
If you don’t yet know anything about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), also known as tapping, start with Brad’s intro video.
Brad has a quick video for almost every emotion from which you would like to be free. Here’s his YouTube channel, just search within it on the emotions you are feeling on which you are prepared to tap for 5 minutes a day until you are free. It’s as easy as that.