Q18: Why Do I Live in Endless Fear?

“The endless fear that any idea, no matter how noble and/or amazing, will never generate enough money to support me.”

Endless fear just goes with the territory of self-employment. Until you adapt. Until it becomes your new normal. Until you no longer notice. Be brave, me hearty. You can do this. Avast!

However, as you embrace those fears, I don’t want them to do internal damage, I want them to embolden you. I want you to bust through them and stand on them to tackle the next one.

I am careful to point out here that this isn’t all there is. I know you know this already. Life’s rich tapestry has fearful bits, but it isn’t just The NeverEnding Story of Fear.

I am wondering what things you’ve done in your life that you feared and which, when it came to mastering them, made you feel wonderful, exhilarated, all-conquering?

I have a friend who is quite fearful in some elements of her real life but endlessly brave when it comes to plank-breaking, wing-walking, and jumping off Turkish mountains strapped to a complete stranger and a foreigner with no shared language to boot! These are personal development metaphors, aren’t they? And the hope is that the bravery will translate into your real life.

Conversely, I don’t do any of those things, I’m a bit of a physical coward, and yet I feel quite brave in my choice of employing myself for money. I am more up for the reality than the metaphor. I live the bravery every day, but I don’t enjoy volunteering for it on my holidays. I prefer to sit under a tree, in a pretty frock, and entertain myself with the view and an ice-lolly while I wait for her to come back down to earth. And she can take as long as she likes, for I am content. Each to their own.

I bet you’ve done some brave things in your life. I know you have, you are a Brit living in another country for starters. That must have taken some bravery? How did you do that?

One of my colleagues is on a mission right now, accidentally or on purpose, to become less fearful and I can report that it is working.

I think what we must do with fears is say “BOO!” to them and watch them vanish.

As a single woman, I have dealt with a lot of scary things in my life where I didn’t have the luxury of someone to do it for me while I stood on a chair. If it’s only you, you have to deal with birds in the house, spiders, rats, pigeon fleas, snails coming out of the under the sink cupboard in the kitchen because the floor wasn’t finished properly etc. The list often seems to go on and on.

You’ve had babies too I think. Gosh! Does anything take any more bravery than that? Not in my world! And yet you took it in your stride.

So we know you are a brave woman.

OK, you are not yet brave enough to believe that your noble and amazing ideas will support you, and yet I know you have been supporting yourself for quite a while. There does seem to be some recurring theme about the bigger, the stretchier, the more noble and amazing your ideas are, the less likely they are to work and that’s my kind of bonkersness. Thanks so much for bringing that one to this book. The readers will love you for that one and resonate very much.

The only thing you can do is prove yourself wrong. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Bust through it. Give the lie to fear.

They say the opposite of fear and its antidote is love. How could you love one of your noble and amazing ideas enough to allow it to make money for you easily and effortlessly? I’ll just leave it there. There’s your opportunity.

PS I LOVE noble and amazing. Crack on, Braveheart!

Notes:

Ask yourself: “What would a BRAVE woman do?”
Thanks for that one to the woman I am proud to call my friend, Marion Ryan.

Your Biz Your Way

If you have enjoyed reading my words here, you might also enjoy my book - Your Biz Your Way: Learning to Trust Yourself. Relax! You've Got This. Get a chunky free sample and/or buy the book here Read My Book

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