“Why do I feel bad that my work isn’t either hard enough or sufficiently worthy or intellectual?”
Self-employment feels too easy to my client; it’s all dropping into her lap.
Hard work was hardwired into me at birth. And it is worthy, it really is. I ran my life and my accounting business according to the principles of hard work once upon a time* and guess what? It only works! But it isn’t The Way. It’s just one of the ways.
When I am tired and not thinking straight and I want to get something done, I fall back on these principles, that old well-worn groove, and hard work gets it done. Hardwired. Told ya.
But now I have woken up and discovered I am 62. And once I got over that shock… here’s the thing. Even after I sold my first business in 1997 and I wasn’t yet nearly as old as 62, just 42 in fact, I already knew that I didn’t want to use those same principles of Hard Work in the next chapter of my life or career either, ‘cos hard work had nearly finished me off. I can do it if called upon, but it is only one setting on the Judith-o-meter and I’ve discovered that there are LOADS of other settings to choose from. Who knew?
Everything’s a choice, and wouldn’t you rather have it be easy? Light and easy?
My current favourite saying in this regard is “When it’s right, it’s easy” and I honestly believe that. Pushing uphill for the sake of it, and struggle, well OK if that’s your only setting or you insist on it being hard, but check your upbringing and your conditioning and see where that comes from. Examine it under a useful spotlight. No blame involved, just understanding.
And with one bound you can be free. No, I’ll be honest. It takes a few more goes than just one bound, but it can be done. I know. I’ve done it.
Let’s look now at worthy. And intellectual.
Yep, I get a buzz out of intellectual. Always have, always will, I flatter myself I’ve got a brain like that. But it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy all sorts of silly nonsense too, in fact, I find anti-intellectual to be quite relaxing. I cannot take it as far as reality TV where they really want the contestants to bonk each other on primetime, but I can take it as far as page-turning light crime novels with a heroine who makes me feel good about myself, written by a woman employing herself for money who is never going to win the Nobel Prize for Literature but who is meeting a need in a reader like me and who is very clearly enjoying herself enough to create a prodigious output. AND making a LOT OF DOSH. Her books sell fabulously well and she writes lots of them, luckily for me.
Oh, she also gives the lie to worthy too.
You can bust this particular bonkersness yourself by looking at the things in life that you enjoy. Are they all hard, worthy and intellectual or are lots of them light and easy and fun and pleasurable and entertaining?
Same applies to work, business and self-employment, Old Love. And to doing something that you love for money. I know you know this because since submitting this question, although no doubt a part of your psyche still feels and believes it to some dwindling extent, I have seen you start to discover precisely how light and easy and fun can also = dosh!
*Denotes fairy-tale made-up bonkersness which is very persuasive as it seeps into our consciousness and becomes “truth”.
Set aside some time to examine your beliefs. Which ones are working for you and which ones have you simply inherited, not yet taken the time to explore and reinvent? Bust the bonkersness! Go on, you have my permish.
- What goes go well and easily, and how much more of that could you stand? Invite it in.
- What do you struggle with and why? How much longer will you choose struggle?