This is Question 4 from my book Your Biz Your Way: Why Am I Plagued by Apparently Insurmountable Obstacles?
“There appears to be a part of my personality that, having noticed a good plan and way forwards is evolving, slowly unravels the idea by placing apparently insurmountable technical, practical and/or financial obstacles in my line of sight until I lose interest in it.”
Yep, I hear ya. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
It is a form of self-sabotage I believe. Those come in all shapes and sizes, don’t they, the little blighters?
I vaguely remember that I won a consultation with a guru at some point in the last fifteen years or so. I cannot remember who or what he was and I had no idea what I was going to talk to him about. I have another vague memory of meeting him in a restaurant somewhere in London, but again that might not be what happened.
I do remember what he told me though.
I said to him that I was getting very, very close to getting what I wanted out of life at that time. The things that had been on my vision board for a few years were looming and about to manifest (I’d been putting my back into it, my go-to system in those days). And, the closer they got, the more I changed my mind about what I wanted. I explained that I’d been in that game so long, the things I thought I wanted appeared to be changing, as was I.
And he said carry on to the end anyway. Complete. Finish the work and the manifestation. Because in that way we train ourselves and carve out new neural pathways that we are successful people, that we are completer-finishers, that we can have whatever we want and we then can point to experiences of having done that so we know it’s true about ourselves.
I know this was very wise advice. He was saying stop changing your mind all the time. Keep your eyes on the prize, get the prize, and re-focus on a new one. Rinse and repeat. In so doing we reinvent ourselves as achievers who can have whatever we want whenever we want it and our catalogue of successful results and achievements grows, which helps us to feel powerful and to know about ourselves that anything is possible for us.
I notice in your use of the word “apparently” that this isn’t the truth. It’s just a get-out if you want it. This is a get-out I have used often, especially if a mountain needs to be climbed. I have noticed it even as I’ve written this book, procrastinating every day, thinking no-one would notice if I welshed on my word. That’s not true, and I would notice most of all.
Here’s a useful resource which I think you will LOVE. It’s a website called Because I Said I Would and the idea is to help and support all of us to become true to our word and carry through on something we have promised ourselves or others that we would do. As with everything, I think this is easier to do for others than it is for myself often, but I think it is equally important, if not more so, to do it for myself. Being a woman of my word is one of my top values. And you can see how it would help you too to bust through the apparent obstacles.
I suppose what we are talking about here is being or becoming determined, determined enough to bust through those obstacles which are no more than mere illusions. Oh, what a tricksy so-and-so our ego is, all in the name of protecting us from failure and disappointment. So much easier to manifest a whole long queue of obstacles which makes it “impossible” for us to have what we said we wanted.
Changing your mind is one thing, generally a good thing as I write later in the book, especially if you are wrong. I’ve done that and will do that again and again. I suppose where the woman of your word comes in is in not committing to anything you know you won’t actually do and push through to the end on. I know you are a woman of ideas. Time to start grading them and only working on the ones you feel like Superwoman about so that you know you can complete on them, whatever appears over the horizon.
Again, I have a sense that this is a habit which, once outed and busted, will just wither and die, imposter that it is.
Because I Said I Would also supply some gorgeous little cards on which you can write promises to yourself and to others and pledges. And you can swap them with your friends and family, and with me.
I will not allow any obstacle to get in my way.
I will complete this project.
I will do everything in my power to keep my interest alive.
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