In the sort of synchronicity which seems to happen almost every day of my life, yesterday I was in the middle of writing Chapter Nine of my NaNoWriMo project, said chapter being entitled “Living with Uncertainty Indefinitely”, when I received an email from a friend on precisely that topic.
This friend is a former client. Then we became friends and now we are also colleagues since I am a client of her business in turn. She is a very loyal friend who has supported me through the difficult years I am writing about in my chapters.
She wrote that her current business is up and down and sends her regularly into a frenzy. She’s looking at new business models because “stupid though it is” she can’t live with uncertainty. She said that she knew I would say that uncertainty goes with being an entrepreneur, but that she was too old to cope with this.
She’s younger than me and I always think of her as very youthful.
I replied that I was writing on uncertainty at the very moment her email came through. Neither she nor I believe in coincidence. However, she likes to have a Plan B whereas I had already decided to write another chapter in the book about the fact that I don’t have one of those.
She went on to tell me more about her experience of uncertainty and how the bigger her current success gets, the more scary her rollercoaster. I reminded her that I had first remarked upon this quite a number of years back when I first had that realisation myself. As your highs get higher, your lows will always feel lower, your Big Dipper ride gets MUCH MORE SCARY. Our only choice if we don’t like it is to get off.
I went on to say that I’ve realized that there is no certainty about anything in this life, not just money/business. Nothing is certain. Careers. Businesses. Properties. Markets. Health. Wellbeing. Friendships. Relationships. When you die. When those you love die. Nothing. And so we have to get used to living in the moment, grateful for what we have, because that’s all we have. Ever.
This moment. Gratitude. Forgiveness. Peace. EFT. Ho’oponopono.
And my pal replied that it was a great reminder and yet difficult to accept and remember that we have no control. Maybe. I believe we have no control. Control is an illusion. All you can do is all you can do, and everything else is left to a rather random chance we don’t like to contemplate too much.
Uncertainty is all there is.
A client wrote this week about the frustration of waiting on others to do things, those being largely outside her control. And another client stepped in to share that her antidote to that frustration was to make sure she had as much on her own to do list as possible which relied on only her to make things happen. That’s one way of getting things done, for sure.
But even as an isolationist, introverted, happy singleton I recognise that I don’t live in a bubble. We are all connected and I need other people to make things happen in many areas of my life and I can’t control what they do or when they do it or if they do it at all. And I have to find a peaceful place of existing with that and accommodating it, to the extent that I am prepared to.
I do think you get to a place of realising both of these things, you control very little and uncertainty is all there is. And that that’s absolutely fine. It also doesn’t mean that if you don’t like anything you can’t change it. And, with my clients, colleagues and friends, helping them change their business model to one they prefer which gives the illusion or the feelings of less of what they don’t like and more of what they do, well that is a worthy goal for us to be working on together.
Working on our feelings is something we can all do. Every day. Change your mind and your thinking about the things under your gaze and the emotional relief can be instant.
And from this more resourced place you might even choose to cosy up to uncertainty.