What My Client And I Both Learned From Her Giving Me The Sack

you are firedI got the sack yesterday. One of my clients decided I wasn’t the right coach for her. Although we had started off together really well, and in only half of the time we had proposed spending together we were well on target to meet her financial goals, the chemistry wasn’t right. In my soul I knew that too and so I was grateful when my client voiced it. I was also surprised in that I wasn’t expecting it, well not yesterday anyway.

Why was getting the sack good for both of us then?

Well, I felt an immediate sense of relief. In advance of the call, earlier in the week, I had been thinking through a couple of clients where I feel a slight anxiety before their calls and I was trying to work out what that anxiety was all about. With the first client I realised that I know how to do something she wants to learn how to do -grow a business – and so our call went well.

But my client yesterday wants something next that I know I don’t know how to do, something to do with corporate clients and corporate life, of which my experience is nil. She wasn’t referred to me for that skill, which thankfully we both acknowledged.

Why I was particularly grateful yesterday was because it gave me a chance to learn how authentic (or not) I am in an area I teach and preach a lot to my clients. When we offer ourselves to the market place I feel we have to be equally happy whether or not our potential clients buy from us. So, for instance, when I do an induction call with a client, while I hope they will hire me if the chemistry is right, I am not attached to that outcome. I am 100% detached, relaxed, abundant, generous and giving. At least that’s my aim.

So I was teaching a client in the hour before my sacking, another client that is, one in USA, that the space to inhabit is one of equanimity. Delight if you are hired or delight if you are not. Delight if the client hires you then or delight if they hire you at any point in the future when the time is right for them. No desperation and no scarcity whatsoever, however badly you need to be hired. Desperation leaks most unattractively so this is a fine art we need to perfect. My client was sceptical of her ability to pull that off, given her financial straits right now or her perception of them but I was able to follow up our call with a list of resources which will help her grow in this regard.

And when it came to the moment yesterday for me to test myself against my own measure, that’s exactly what happened. I felt no scarcity whatsoever, despite the fact that I am going to have to find a sum of money to refund my client next week which I wasn’t anticipating in my cashflow forecast. I felt only relief and a sense of all being right with the world; indeed perhaps I had asked the Universe for this precise outcome.

That’s why I say to my clients in the Club 100 that my terms are “easy in, easy out”. I want clients to feel they can stop our business relationship whenever they want, for whatever reason if they even choose to give one, and that it will be easy to do that. They’ve run out of money and think they cant afford even ¬£100 a month to grow their business. They don’t value the work we are doing together. The results aren’t fast enough for them. Whatever. It doesn’t matter, not to me at least.

The reverse is also true. I am delighted and awash with abundance if clients want to stay indefinitely, or return for another bite of the cherry. They are free to come, go and come again if they wish. At any time.

And what did my departing client learn about herself too yesterday, in asking for her own needs to be met? She sent this heart-warming email later in the day:

“Thank you for being so understanding about this, I can’t get over how utterly lovely you were about it.¬†Whilst I have certainly learned much from our sessions. I suspect your greatest gift to me has actually been today and learning that I don’t have to be fearful in asking for what I want and sometimes what I want also works for the other person.”


I wonder what else we might be fearing – or even dreading – which might be not only easier than we anticipate, but all for the best? After all, that’s usually what it turns out to be, doesn’t it? Do share your stories where something tricky/nasty/uncomfortable turned out to be all for the best in the end. And now that you know this, or suspect it, what brave decision might you implement for yourself?


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2 Responses to “What My Client And I Both Learned From Her Giving Me The Sack”

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  1. Judith Morgan says:

    Hi Frank, I love it when I oblige you to get out Dickie the dictionary, not least because you are the man who has – from time to time – picked me up on spelling, grammar etc. You are the man who taught me there’s no apostrophe in CDs, for which I shall be forever grateful. No need to look more of a muppet than necessary in virtual print, is there?

    More than not ever being able to show you are desperate for your next client, I think I was saying you can’t even feel that. It leaks. You can’t just be abundant on the surface, it has to be through and through. An inside job.

    Re websites, the reason I noticed your comment was that I am in the back end of mine today, making tweaks; its like the Forth Bridge. Re-writes goes with the territory and with yours more than most I would have thought? Happy times!


  2. Frank Jurga says:

    I had to rush to the dictionary to look up ‘equanimity’ – it is not a word I have really come across – certainly never used. Dickie says “calmness of mind or temper; composure”. Hey, that’s me too and I didn’t know it – sounds like we are both equinimous (I so want to put an exclamation mark there). What a fantastic reminder that you can’t please everybody all the time – even if you are desperate for the next client but you can’t ever show it. On a final point – exactly how many bites can you get out of a cherry? BTW, one year in and my website already needs a complete re-write. Best wishes Judith.