What do you do about the toxic people who may be in your life and/or your work? And what can you do if, worse still, they are a member of your own family?
This is a question which has been sent in by a listener for us to address in today’s radio show and it is meatier than either of us expected. I assumed we would both say the same thing – move away from them – but perhaps it is not as simple as that especially with family.
My strategy is threefold:
- Let them know the impact their toxicity has on you and others and ask them to desist
- Move away from them if they do not
- Ban them entirely if 1 and 2 don’t work
I cannot operate in the way I need to in my life if I am surrounded by negative or toxic people. Since the only thing we can change is ourselves, we can move further away if asking for our own viewpoints to be respected doesn’t work. Don’t let the ******** grind you down! You have language skills, use them. And if banning them from your life is your only option, use that too. Actions very often speak louder than words. Apologies may not be needed, changed behaviours are as a way of demonstrating love and/or respect.
I’ve done it and it has been done to me as well. Similarly, Nicola has experienced something like it also. We have both survived, albeit with regrets, but we know it’s possible because we’ve done it.
I was heartened by a lunch with an old friend this week who told me that her husband in his seventies and her mother in her nineties had both changed their behaviour when they knew how important it was to save their respective relationships with her. She described herself as taking too long to getting around to making the changes because of a “fear of confrontation” but when life got unbearable with both, it was a no-brainer. And it only worked!
In other news, I continue to get out and about meeting people (Cath and Kay this week) and Nicola’s excited about her creative writing in both prose and poetry and talks about competitions, scholarships, critique and agents.
My fuel has been fired by quite a normal week chez Judith of month-ending my accounts, reading the last few chapters of my book into my little podcast, and new clients joining SBBM and my low-carb front-runner coming up on two stone lost with the others doing well too. Nicola is all fired up by Amazon Alexa Skills.
Our Works of the Week are Research (me) and Audio-Marketing (her).
Project Updates includes all sorts of random stuff about Etsy and Facebook shops, a hot tip if you use Facebook Business Manager, my 100 words being published misquoting me (but am I bovvered? No!) and Katherine’s cross stitch pattern of my three fave sayings – Stop It Immediately, Let’s Crack On and When It’s Right It’s Easy.
Finally, I impress myself at doing some very uncharacteristic research prompted by Right Move, and Nicola discovers FutureLearn.com and EchoSim.io.
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