When’s The Right Time To Push And When To Allow?

Yin YangWhen’s the right time to push and when to allow? Oh God, I wish I knew the answer to this one, but I do have some thoughts.

I’ve been with clients all day today and this has been the recurring theme. When’s the right time to sit back and wait and allow and take a light yin approach and when is a more forthright pushing yang energy the most appropriate option?

Whenever I post something on Facebook about receiving, allowing and relaxing so that something you want may manifest, I am swamped with blokey energy comments and feedback (which may come from both men and women) saying that nothing comes to those to sit and wait, rather it comes to those who get up off their ***** and do some heavy lifting, and I agree. But not 100%.

I’ve been experimenting with this in my life for some time now and I like a nice scientific experiment based on if I do X then Y follows. And I know that when I work hard I get great results. I push on through any task which needs doing and I have something to show for it at the end. But at some personal cost.

I also know that when I take a week off or skive off to go to the cinema in the afternoon, great things manifest in my absence and I am reminded that I am not totally in control of what’s going on round here. Not all the time, anyhow.

So what’s the best way to advise clients when I notice myself getting shirty at their lack of application or resisting their hard-driving approach because, of course, it can go either way? Either it’s all hammer and hell-for-leather or all floaty and fairylike when what we want is some balance.

It can depend on the task. If you have to get something done by a certain deadline, you want to pick driving, blokey, deadline-driven, accountability-based yang. If you want something magical and miraculous, you want to adopt some step-away-from-the-machine yin. Both work; I’ve proved that beyond all reasonable doubt now to my own satisfaction. But one approach is more appropriate for certain tasks than the other.

Do your own experiments, starting with an audit. How happy are you with your current circumstances and what predominant energy have you been using to achieve that?  How’s it working for you? Why not look for ways to experiment with the both sorts of energy, sometimes a little shove, sometimes a little space and then let’s compare notes and see what happens.

All push makes Jack a dull boy and all allow makes Jill an under-achiever. The choice is ours. We want to be flexible and try a little bit of both. After all, these seemingly opposite and contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world. Try a little of the opposite to the one you normally use and prepare to be amazed.

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2 Responses to “When’s The Right Time To Push And When To Allow?”

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  1. Judith Morgan says:

    I think there’s a time for both, honestly, Frank. Our job is simply to decide when is the most appropriate time to use the yin or the yang. Should get easier with practice. I firmly believe “when it’s right, it’s easy” but you have a crusader in you too who must do what he feels is right. Glad this helped and good luck with Karren Brady. J

  2. Frank Jurga says:

    This article is so perfectly timed – it explains perfectly where I am. The mortgage world has died for me – the volume of work is so small it won’t support a PA or office and there is no way I am going to start doing mortgage admin again. I’ve done the opposite to Judith and I have allowed my bookkeeping, accounts and tax return work to grow naturally and this almost lackadaisical Yin approach has won me 80 new clients since the beginning of 2012 – that’s nearly four new clients a month – it’s virtually all annual repeat business so that is some pay rise.

    But Judith has given me an added boost this morning – an encouraging boot up the posterior. Financial Services will always be in my blood and I have tried to lobby to get these new pension developments undone because they are the UK’s biggest ever stealth tax and and massive burden for the younger generation. I got up early this morning in order to put together a letter and package of information and send it Karen Brady. I have tried for 3 years to get through to politicians directly and I am now attempting to get in through the ‘stage’ door – this morning I’ve been sent a bit of Yang from Judith to help me on my way.

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